In this day and age of generally independent individuals, having an ego that is in check is something of a rarity. I mean, if he doesn’t call you first, why should you be the one to call him first, right? Doesn’t he know that there are plenty other guys that want you? Who does he think he is? It’s not like he pays your bills or anything. Even to take you out sef is wahala. Same goes for guys too. She probably doesn’t have any idea how many broads (females, pardon my French) want to be your side chick. Neither does she know about that girl that keeps flirting with you in class. So who does she think she is, ‘forming’ for you and what not? Lol.
Today, communication and/or the lack of it is the downfall of many relationships. It is appalling that with all the ‘exposure’ the internet and our very own eyes afford us, people still operate their relationships in the most shambolic ways possible. Frankly speaking, it’s ridiculous. From the moment you agree to become a part of someone’s life, all monopoly ceases. It’s no longer just you but you AND your partner. Yes, they should fulfil their own responsibilities and commitments to the relationship but when they don’t, it is your job to consolidate and steady the ship. A relationship is not a business deal (or it shouldn’t be, at least). Because you don’t like it doesn’t mean you should raise your chin 100ft above sea level and act like the ground at your feet should be worshipped. Some guys even do random power shows just so their partner can know who the boss is. It’s hilarious, really. In a relationship, nobody should be the boss! You are both equal and human. You WILL both make mistakes. Lots of them. And if you don’t communicate with your partner effectively, how do you move past such mistakes? Don’t get me wrong, this has nothing to do with your social habits online (whether you are good at pinging first or not etc.). Even if you have bad social media habits, you should make an exception when it comes to your partner because you are committed to them. Put in some effort for chrissakes. You shouldn’t let your coolness or ‘swagginess’ cloud your responsibilities to your relationship. Because when you do, you place yourself above your partner. Your ego leads the way when you need to deal with the problems in your relationship. I have been involved in a lot of relationships and from experience, I can tell anyone reading this that recognising a person’s sentimental power over us doesn’t in any way diminish our sentimental power over them. You see, when we get into relationships, we tend to develop certain expectations of our partners. And then we expect them to meet those expectations. Then we hold pointless stands when they fail to meet those expectations and expect them to understand when we don’t meet theirs. Unfortunately, we forget that they are also human.
I really shouldn’t be babbling on and on about this. My point is this, in your relationship, set your ego aside. Sometimes, when your partner offends you, don’t just clam up and hold it against them. Let them know and talk to them about it. Call your partner randomly. Send a text first thing in the morning. Do your bit and put in the work. Because in the end, when it all works out or when there’s no one left, your partner is all you’re gonna have left. Respect him/her, see him/her as the human they are, capable of making mistakes. Two wrongs don’t make a right. Love your partner and do right by them. NEVER ever consider your ego when it comes to your partner.
Till next time, may God bless and keep us all.
This Article was written by @Dhreyy_
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of TNN Africa.
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