In ancient times, dating and relationships were relatively unheard of. Courtship and dating were generally skipped and marriages were mostly arranged (depending on a host of factors I’d rather not delve into). Inasmuch as this is still common practice in some parts of the world, I think we’d all agree that such practices are generally not acceptable anymore. People now consider things like love, trust, compatibility and so on before getting into relationships and marriages. In fact, the general cycle is friendship, dating, courtship, engagement and marriage. However, some people still consider things like tribe and financial status etc before dating someone or marrying someone. The question now is what should be the ideal defining factor before getting into a relationship or getting married to someone?
Naturally, everyone wants some sort of security and positive gain from their relationships. Now, some (especially females – sue me) see such security only in financial abundance, others in people of the same tribe or race and so on. I’m not saying this is bad, but at the same time, i don’t think this is ideal. Before I go on, I’d like us to keep an open mind and think objectively as we read this piece.
Let’s take those that are all about the money for example. The financial capability (or incapability) of their partner defines everything that goes on in the relationship (or most of it at least) as far as they are concerned. As soon as the premise of financial security looks negatively tweaked in the slighest, the entire setup falls to ruins. What follows is anyone’s guess. Same goes for other superficial attributes people look for in their partners. It almost never ends well. Now, what should be the ideal definitive factor?
In my humble opinion, I think the persona is what should really count. Not tribe, money, social status and the rest. Your feelings for your partner should be founded based on who that person is. I mean the inner person. Not where they work; how famous they are; what school they attend or attended; what country they are from; how much money or power their family has etc. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying these things shouldn’t be considered, I’m saying they SHOULDN’T be the prerequisite for relationships, much less marriage. Because in the end, it is the person you’re dating or getting married to, NOT those other things.
Before you write off someone, try to get to know them. What kind of people are they? Is this person an introvert? Do they have a god complex? Are they passive-aggressive in nature? What impression does their thinking pattern pass on to you? Yes, I know money and the rest influence who a person is, but still, they INFLUENCE; they don’t DEFINE. And even if they do define who a person is, they can only define the person exigently. The inner person will always be there. Always. And that’s who you would have to deal with eventually, whether you’re dating the person or getting married to them.
Just imagine a world where people didn’t hold any prejudice against anyone because of their skin color, tribe, race, financial status, social status, family background and the rest. A world in which people dated and got married because of a non-superficial connection to their partners. A bond that transcends materialistic frivolities. Isn’t that a world ANYONE would want to live in?
Anyways, like the debaters say, I hope that with these few points of mine, I have been able to convince and not confuse you that money, fame and the rest shouldn’t be the primary factor that determines who you date or marry.
Till next time, remember to stay happy always.
P.S: Please feel free to comment and share your views. As candidly as is possible. Make una dey try encourage us. Share and comment. Tbank you and God bless.
This Article was written by @Dhreyy_
Op-ed pieces and contributions are the opinions of the writers only and do not represent the opinions of TNN Africa.
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